Hope, My Foe

This is a poem I wrote in October of 2001. I was trying to put words to the frustration when your flesh is so tired and weak and wants to give in to the pity and just give up running the race, but you can't because God won't take the hope away and even though hope is the only thing getting you through, you despise it because it means you have to keep going and at that point you just don't think it's possible. I'm not 100% sure anymore what inspired this poem, I read it now, four years later and I am very surprised by the depth of despair that the poem conveys. The point of the poem, however, is that no matter what we go through, we always have hope.

O vicious thing, this Hope
my foe
that clings like a moss
to my every woe.
A farewell kiss,
gone amiss,
for he cleaves and won’t let go.

Run as I might, he will
follow;
A night shadow the sun
cannot swallow.
Hot on my back,
loyal claque,
applauding when I wallow.

When the others –
Joy, Peace, and Glee,
go each their own way and
abandon me,
I cannot moan -
I'm not alone,
Hope stands firm and will not flee.

Walking through
a fiery trial,
Hope seems all but gone
for a little while.
But then his twin,
rushes in
and I embrace God’s smile.

Oh Sadist Hope!
You two-faced friend!
Why do you encourage me
to pretend?
Ironic joke?
You provoke
wounds that you can never mend.

Perhaps you don’t quite
understand,
or perhaps you can see
all that God has planned?
So for my sake,
undertake,
give me strength so I can stand.

Navigate through this
storms of tears,
carry my cross
and face all of my fears.
I can’t let go!
Hope, my foe,
hold me until death appears!